Just to Get Him a Drink

¹³ During harvest time, three of the thirty chief men came down to David at the cave of Adullam, while a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. ¹⁴ At that time David was in the stronghold, and the Philistine garrison was at Bethlehem. ¹⁵ David longed for water and said, “Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!” ¹⁶ So the three mighty men broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David. But he refused to drink it; instead, he poured it out before the LORD. ¹⁷ “Far be it from me, O LORD, to do this!” he said. “Is it not the blood of men who went at the risk of their lives?” And David would not drink it.  Such were the exploits of the three mighty men.  2 Samuel 23:13-17

A few days ago, the Lord spoke to me through this story and began to stir some things up in my heart.  In this story, we read about King David, who had among his armies 30 mighty men, 3 of whom were the greatest of his warriors.  David, in a moment of weariness and longing, expresses his deep thirst.  As a King, he could have commanded, demanded, and forced any of his soldiers to do his bidding and fetch him what he desired.  Yet, all he did was sigh and wish aloud, perhaps not even thinking anyone was listening or expecting that anyone would respond. 

His request for a drink of water wasn’t as simple as it sounds – in fact, it was rather absurd and unreasonable!  He didn’t just want any drink of water – he wanted it from a special well near the gate of Bethlehem – perhaps a place where he had received a refreshing drink at another time when life was simpler and more peaceful.  Instead, he was now in a time of war and struggle with his enemies and this well was behind enemy lines.  It would be no easy task to retrieve this drink!

Yet, I have a feeling that these three mighty men loved David a great deal, and cared for their King and Commander.  I imagine that when they heard that he longed for this drink, all they wanted to do was to be able to fulfill his desire and answer his request to bring him the thing that would give him pleasure.  While they may have considered the cost it would require of them – their time, effort, even their lives - they wouldn’t let that keep them from immediately responding, without hesitation to his smallest wish. 

This is something that I long for in my life, that I would have that same love for my King and Commander, Jesus Christ.  I want to be one who leaps to answer the simplest or most seemingly impossibly large request that comes from His lips.  I want to be one who would do anything, go anywhere, give everything for the sake of bringing Him pleasure and responding to any desire of His heart.  I want to answer His request, without hesitation, no matter the cost to my time, my energy, my reputation, my bank account, or even my life. 

But the story doesn’t end there.  After the three mighty men retrieve this precious drink of water, risking their lives for it, David cannot even receive it from them and pours it out as an offering to God!  I don’t know what they were thinking in that moment – if they were in disbelief, shock, or anger – when it appeared that all of their effort was wasted and for nothing!  Yet, I have a feeling that when the Lord asks me to do something, at times it may very well appear to be just that.  What if He asks me to pray for a sick person and they don’t get better?  What if he asks me to give money to somebody who then squanders it?  What if he asks me to forgive someone who doesn’t appreciate it?  What if he asks me to open my home to someone, only to have them steal from me or take advantage of me?  What if he asks me to open my heart to someone, only to have them hurt me?  Is it all a waste??  Is it all for nothing???

I don’t think so, but even if it is, I still want to say “yes” to this Man, simply because I love Him.  Simply because He’s beautiful and wonderful and deserving of it.  Simply because He’s my King.  He’s worthy of wasting my life on Him!

I wish I was there, but I am so far from it!  Lord, help me to be like David’s mighty men!  Help me to be like the woman of valor that You are looking for! 

What about you?  Have you heard Him whisper a request lately?  Have you heard Him express His longings?  What will your response be?

Valorous

“Who can find a ¹virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies.”  Proverbs 31:10

I, the Lord Jesus, am seeking and searching for a woman of ²valor.  I am looking for a woman with an ³excellent spirit who is pure in heart.  I desire a bride who is ⁴spotless, righteous and courageous.  I long for my wife to be my partner in all things, one who will stand and fight by my side.  Who can find such a woman?  Where can I find this bride of infinite ⁵inner beauty?  Surely her worth and value would far surpass ⁶precious stones, exquisite pearls and rare diamonds.  Such a bride would be a ⁷crown upon her husband’s head.  She would adorn me with great honor and splendor!  Who can find her?  Truly, my Father has promised to find and ⁸prepare a bride for me who even exceeds my desires – she will be everything I have longed for and more!  Indeed, I place such a high value on my bride that I would give up my very life for her sake.  My Father also will ⁹give everything for her and to her, that she may be mine for eternity.  I will find her, I will woo her, I will win her, I will betroth her to myself, and then on the day that my Father decides, I will at last marry her! 

1 Literal translation - a wife of valor; in the sense of all forms of excellence (NKJV note)
2 www.dictionary.com definition of valor – boldness or determination in facing great danger, esp. in battle; heroic courage; bravery
3 Daniel 6:3
4 Ephesians 5:25-27
5 1 Peter 3:4
6 Revelation 21:9-11
7 Proverbs 12:4
8 Revelation 21:2
9 Romans 8:32

Spirit of Adoption

As I have written about before on this blog, I have struggled often with the fear of disappointing God.  In my life, I’ve experienced rejection from people in my life and have listened too long to the lies of the enemy that would try to convince me that God will also reject me.  I have lived under the shame and condemnation of the enemy and thought that my sin and my darkness was too great for Him to embrace and accept me.  But I have grown tired of believing these lies and I finally took deliberate steps to renounce these lies and the spirit of rejection in a time of prayer with my husband last night, which was really good!  While we were praying, my husband read a scripture to me from Psalm 118:21-23…

²¹ I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
       you have become my salvation. 
²² The stone the builders rejected
       has become the capstone;
²³ the LORD has done this,
       and it is marvelous in our eyes.

This scripture is actually prophesying about Jesus, who was rejected by man, only to become the Savior of all mankind.  My husband reminded me that Jesus was rejected by man (see also Isaiah 53:3), so that I wouldn’t need to fear the rejection of man.  On the cross, Jesus was also separated from (in a sense, rejected by) the Father so that I would never have to be separated or rejected by God!  This was a powerful revelation for me, because I have often been afraid that my weaknesses and my sin would keep me from receiving God’s mercy and even eternity with Him – that somehow, my issues would be so great that I would not be granted access to heaven.  What a lie from the pit of hell!!  Jesus suffered the agony of separation from His Father for the very purpose of sparing me from that pain!  I never have to be afraid of being rejected by my Father, for Jesus was rejected for me.

After I bound and commanded the spirit of rejection to leave, I then invited the Spirit of adoption to come fill me, as we are promised in Romans 8:15-17…

¹⁵For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship (adoption). And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…

As I prayed, this passage came alive to me in a new way, because I realized that with the Spirit of adoption, the Father shows no distinction between His natural children and His adopted children.  He loves me with same love that He loves His beloved Son Jesus!  He does not reserve a lesser love for me, simply because I am adopted – no!  He embraces me and accepts me and adores me and is delighted with me to the same measure as He does with Jesus.  As His adopted child, He even grants me the privilege of sharing in the inheritance of Jesus, to be an equal heir of His Kingdom!  I have received just the tiniest bit of revelation about the love that the Father has for Jesus, and it is enough to overwhelm me that He could love me the same.  Jesus Himself wants and desires this very same thing – He even intercedes to the Father that we would know how the Father loves us even as He has loved His Son (John 17:23).   I will not be made a slave again to fear, for I have received the Spirit of adoption and He testifies with my spirit that I am God’s child!

Dove’s Eyes

When I announced what we were going to name our daughter after we found out we were having a girl, I told you all that Rayah comes from a Hebrew word in the Bible used only in the book of Song of Songs, which is usually translated as “my love” or “my darling” and which literally means “intimate companion”.  We feel like Rayah has a special invitation from the Lord for intimacy and friendship with Himself that we are excited to teach her about!  My favorite verse where it uses this sweet term of endearment is found in Song of Songs 1:15…

“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.” (NIV)

“Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove’s eyes.” (NKJV)

Along with our desire for Rayah to experience deep intimacy with her Beloved Bridegroom, it is also our hope that she will have a deep understanding and revelation of her beauty before Him.  My prayer is that she will not have to struggle with issues of self-esteem or insecurity, but that she will be confident knowing that the very Creator of the universe says she is fair, flawless, and captivating to His heart!  In my study of this verse, I have also learned that “when a dove fixes its gaze upon its mate, it is not distracted by any activities around it.  Therefore, it is often referred to as being a ‘love bird.’” (Wade E Taylor) I pray that Rayah, too, will have this singleness of vision that has her eyes fixed upon Jesus at all times. 

Just days before Justice was born, I made him a painting, which I will perhaps share in another blog post, but when it was coming time for Rayah’s arrival, I decided to paint her this picture as an image of her name.

Brain Dump #1

Sometimes I just need to dump out the various things swirling around in my mind and heart, so I now give you my first “Brain Dump” and perhaps it will become the first of many – we’ll see.

His mercies are new every morning
Rayah’s had a lot of gas issues lately and cries A LOT.  This can really wear a person down.  I had my first meltdown of tears yesterday since I became a mommy of two.  I was frustrated by my circumstances, but also feeling like a failure as a mom for all the anger and terrible thoughts I had inside.  Thank God that His mercies are new every morning and that He sees the sincere desires of my heart to be a lover of God and a better mom to my children.  I’m also glad that all the expectations I put on myself to be a “supermom” are not ones that God places on me – His yoke is easy and His burden is light!

Hosting the Holy Spirit
In light of the spiritual awakening happening at the International House of Prayer (check it out here), I have begun to read the book “Hosting the Holy Spirit”, written by twelve different authors including Ché Ahn, Lou Engle, John Arnott, Cindy Jacobs and several other ministers who have been blessed with visitations of the Spirit in their churches.  I really enjoyed the first chapter by John Arnott about valuing the anointing.  I must confess that since I had participated in a spiritual renewal when I was a teenager, that I somehow reached a place where I was taking the anointing and touches of the Spirit for granted and I would sometimes hold back from really entering in because I thought I had moved beyond that stuff.  I thought I would just sit back and observe and let others experience His anointing who perhaps hadn’t experienced it before.  Perhaps I thought I was too mature or didn’t really need it or made other excuses for not entering in.  But I want to value and honor the moving of the Spirit in our midst and have a hunger and desperation and realization of my need for more of Him.  I want to be open to receiving His touch any time, all the time, every time!

More of His Love
Along similar lines, I was watching the webstream of the IHOPU Student Awakening when one of their leaders David Sliker shared his testimony of what the Lord had done in him.  He shared about how he had made peace with his barrenness and become content with not having God’s touch on his heart.  He also shared about how in his attempt to put aside childishness, he had also put aside childlikeness and lost that innocent joy, but how God had restored to him the joy of his salvation.  As I was identifying with his testimony and praying about this, the worship team began to sing a prophetic song about receiving the love of God.  The Lord then began to speak to me about this, since I seem to struggle with asking Him for more of His love.  I’ve had really amazing experiences in the past where I’ve felt the love of my Bridegroom Jesus and my Father God, but I think I was believing a lie that I needed to live off of those experiences and that I should just be grateful for them and not ask for more.  But then I thought about my relationship with my earthly husband and how I need to know and feel his love for me on a daily basis, whether it’s through a word or action or touch, and he does not begrudge me those things and gladly shows me his love every day.  So why would Jesus be any different?  Does He not long to show me His love and want me to ask Him for more?  It’s simply doesn’t seem right for me to not feel the love of my eternal Bridegroom every day.  Not once a week, not once a month, not once a year – I cannot live on yesterday’s experience!  It would seem ridiculous for Joe to say to me that him telling me he loved me once a year was good enough, yet that’s the lie I was believing about God!  The same goes for the love of the Father – it would be terrible if Joe said to our kids that they should be content with feeling his love only every once and a while!  It’s the exact opposite – Joe really loves to show our kids how much he loves them and I believe it to be the same with our Heavenly Father.  So, while I may have known this to some extent already, it was still a new revelation for me and touched my heart in a way that I needed, which was awesome!

The Father’s Love
Along the lines of the Father’s love – lately our son Justice has become very affectionate, always asking for hugs, which is terribly sweet and cute!  But he has also started asking for hugs during mealtime when he is inevitably covered with food.  Of course, our instinct is to say to him that he needs to be cleaned up first before he can have a hug, but doesn’t that sound horrible?  What if God said to us that we needed to get cleaned up before He would show us His love?  What if the prodigal son’s father had made his son have a bath first before he was willing to embrace him?  I’m so glad the Father is not like that!!  Joe was a great father and let Justice give him a hug, getting food all over his own clothing as Justice patted his back.   I was a little more reluctant and cleaned him up first – lol.

Freedom From Self-Hatred
And one more testimony from what God has been doing in me as I’ve been watching the IHOPU Student Awakening webstream.  Last night, a girl was giving her testimony about how God set her free from self-hatred and rage that had come as a result of being molested as a little girl.  Now, they’ve had several ministry times regarding self-hatred in the last couple weeks, but I’ve been reluctant to engage my heart and have had walls up.  But finally, something broke and what she was sharing caused my defenses to fall as I recalled wounds from my own past.  Then Wes Hall, the person who was facilitating the meeting, had a word of knowledge about a wife who had never told her husband about what she was going through and I knew I needed to tell Joe some things and have him pray for me.  So, I shared with Joe about some things that happened when I was a pre-teen and early teen, where I felt violated by a man and objectified by my male peers.  These were things I had never told him and I don’t even know why I had kept them hidden, but it felt really good to get them out in the open.  We then prayed together and I felt the Lord touch my heart with revelation about how He feels about me and I broke off the the bondage of self-hatred and my agreement with the lies of the enemy regarding my appearance and my body.  One of the things the girl sharing her testimony had said that really touched me was when she said that she realized that her body had not been made for man, but for God.  This was totally freeing for me and I felt life in the revelation that my body had been made by God to be a bearer of His image and a vessel for His Spirit and that it doesn’t matter what people might think!  So, I feel like there was a breakthrough and that I received freedom and healing in this area – praise Jesus!

The Deep Things of God

…as it is written:
“No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him”
—but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 2:9-11)

The other day, I was spending some time singing and meditating on this passage and I was struck with the longing to know the deep things of God. As I searched the scripture to find out what else it said about this subject, I discovered that Jesus was one who felt things very deeply.

He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. (Mark 3:5)

He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, “Ephphatha!” (which means, “Be opened!” ). (Mark 7:34)

He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. (Mark 14:33)

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled…Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. (John 11:33, 38)

…And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ… (Ephesians 3:17, 18)

Over the recent years, I have been learning about the emotions of God, but it never occurred to me that God has deep emotions! We have been made in God’s likeness and image and He created us as emotional creatures, yet I’m sure our emotions are just a faint whisper, a mere echo of the emotions that dwell in the heart of God. I have felt joy, sorrow, anger, love and numerous other emotions, yet I do not think I could even begin to comprehend what God feels when He feels joy or sorrow or love!

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? (Romans 11:33-34)

It’s no wonder that Paul prayed in Ephesians that the Holy Spirit would give us power in our inner man to be able to grasp the depths of the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge! It is not possible to conceive the deep things of God unless the Holy Spirit reveals them to us, as it says in the passage from 1 Corinthians, since only the Holy Spirit can search out the depths of God’s heart and mind. We need an outpouring of the Spirit’s wisdom and revelation to take us into His deep emotions and thoughts so that we “may know him better” (Ephesians 1:17).

And while at times I feel that I am so shallow and lacking in spiritual depth, I believe that God has created deep wells within my soul and spirit, ones that even I have not yet discovered or tapped into and it is those deep emotions and thoughts that cry out with longing and desperation to touch the depths of God. As it says in Psalm 42,

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers have swept over me. (Psalm 42:7)

The deep places in my spirit call out to the deep places in the Spirit of God and as much as terrifies me, I desire to come under the thundering, pounding roar of His waterfalls and waves. My personal experience of joy is as a small drop in comparison to the Niagara Falls of God’s joy and I don’t think I could even handle the full revelation of His emotions, yet I don’t want that to stop me from asking for it!

What does the roar of God’s deep righteous anger sound like? What do the waves of God’s deep love feel like? What do the breakers of God’s deep sorrow feel like? His deep jealousy? His deep joy? His deep compassion? Is it possible to know and experience God’s deep emotions, His deep thoughts? My mind gets completely overwhelmed at just the thought of trying to tap into the depths of God, yet I pray and cry out for it!

The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. (Proverbs 20:5)

Oh, that I would be a woman of understanding and somehow, by the Holy Spirit, be given the gift to be able to draw out the deep waters of God’s heart.

Why Are You Afraid?

I once heard it said that when God asks a question, He isn’t asking for His benefit, but for ours. So when Jesus asks the question, “Why are you afraid?” (Matt. 8:26), He’s asking so that I’ll take a good look at my own heart and examine the reasons why I struggle with fear.

In Matthew 4, when the disciples are caught in a storm with Jesus fast asleep, they question him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” In Max Lucado’s book Fearless, which I just recently read & reviewed, he notes that “They do no ask about Jesus’ strength…knowledge…or his know-how…But rather, they raise doubts about Jesus’ character: ‘Do you not care…’ Fear does this. Fear corrodes our confidence in God’s goodness.” (pg. 9, emphasis mine)

So when Jesus asks me the question, “Why are you afraid?”, one answer is that I don’t always believe that He is good or trust that He actually cares about whatever situation is striking fear in my heart. I forget that the reason He even asks me why I’m afraid is because He truly, sincerely and deeply cares about my fears and wants to help me overcome them! He is not distant and separated from my situation, but He is actually right there in the storm with me and is intimately involved in what is going on. Yet fear causes me to question His goodness and His trustworthiness. I fear that in my imagined tragic scenarios of pain and woe that He won’t be there for me and He won’t do anything to save me from perishing. Worse yet, whenever something negative happens, or even when I imagine one of my fears coming true, I often think that it’s because God needs to punish me for something bad I’ve done.

These fears are completely misplaced and obviously sown by the enemy, but it is still difficult to combat the lies after agreeing with them for so long. Fear is such a battle of the mind and thoughts and as much as I wish I could have victory over fear instantly, I think it will be a process of renewing my mind with the truth about who Jesus is and His character. Even though I know that He can be trusted and He’s not out to punish me and His leadership is perfect and He is a good Shepherd, I still need those truths to impact my heart in a greater way so that the fear that has made it’s home there can be dislodged. I need a greater revelation of His love, care, compassion and tenderness towards me, for “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).

I want to be made perfect in love.

Fear of Disappointing God

I recently received the opportunity to read and review Max Lucado’s upcoming book “Fearless”, which is scheduled to be released on September 8th and on which date you will get to read my thoughts on it. Until then, I have to keep it “hush-hush”, but I am already being touched by it and God is putting His finger on some things in my heart.

I’ve known for a while that I struggle with fear. I fear losing those I love. I fear for my loved ones should I die unexpectedly. I fear failure. I fear pain. I fear disappointing people. But perhaps most of all, I fear disappointing God. This exact fear is the topic of Chapter 4 of Max Lucado’s book and not only do I fear disappointing God, but I assume that I already have and am constantly doing so. I’m one big disappointment. My sins, my compromises, and my failures seem so frequent that the only logical conclusion my mind can arrive at is that He must be extremely tempted to just give up on me, if He hasn’t already!

This fear of disappointing God seems to be closely linked to another issue that He is putting His finger on, which is self-hatred. “Hello – my name is Jacquie and I despise myself.” There – I said it! So, apparently this is a big problem, because when I hate myself, I expect that others also hate me and that God hates me. Even in my own marriage, though my husband consistently showers me with words of love and shows me by his actions that he adores me, I can be incredibly fearful and insecure about revealing my weaknesses to him. I decide beforehand, that since I am disgusted and repulsed by my own darkness, that surely my husband will feel the same way and will promptly reject me if he finds out about the real me. This makes me fearful and I try to hide my flaws from him, not trusting in his unconditional love for me.

The same goes for my relationship with God, only the terrible thing is that He sees everything about me and nothing is hidden from His sight!! If He can see what I see (and more!), then He most definitely must be disappointed in me! I then reason that if I can’t hide my sin from Him, perhaps I can just avoid contact and hide from His gaze so that I won’t see the look of disappointment in His eyes. Like Adam and Eve, I run from Him in shame and the enemy showers me with words of condemnation, which I willingly listen to, instead of looking to the Lord to see what’s really there. Even when He tries to affirm His love for me, I reject His words and cannot accept His love or forgiveness. A scripture which I have clung to over the last couple years and which I seem to need to go back to countless times is Psalm 34:4-5…

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

Even as I was writing, He lovingly reminded me of a dream that He gave me over a decade ago, but which impacted me so deeply that it still brings tears to my eyes to this day. In this dream, I was an unfaithful wife who had left my husband to pursue other lovers and I was about to marry another man, only to recall that I was still married and would need to first find my husband and divorce him. This led to a journey of searching for him, which gave me a lot of time to remember how much he had loved me and realize what a fool I had been to leave him. As you can probably guess, my husband in this dream represented Jesus, and when I did finally find him, the memory that always strikes me is the look in his eyes. That look of disappointment I talked about? Nope – it wasn’t there. Disgust? Nope. Rejection? Nope. His look was one of the purest love and most sincere kindness and acceptance I have ever seen. His look invited me to come close and experience intimacy with him once again. There was no shame, no condemnation, no guilt-trip, no holding me at arms length. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes – perhaps some sorrow over the time lost – but I knew that he understood the pain in my own heart, the regret and sincere repentance for how I had wounded him. Now what if I had been so full of shame that I had kept my eyes downward, groveling at his feet? What if I had never looked up into his eyes to see what was truly there? And yet, I do this constantly!

Somewhere in my heart, I still believe that God is mostly disappointed in me and my self-hatred and fear keep me from looking to Him. Because I do not love myself, I keep a very good record of all the wrongs I have committed, so that each time I mess up, I remember my many previous grievances and I forget that His perfect love has wiped that record out! His mercy and forgiveness and the blood of Jesus have completely cleansed me from each and every one of those sins! I assume that He is recalling my muddy history and I don’t even want to come ask for forgiveness because I think He must be so weary of granting me mercy. Surely His patience has been worn paper-thin? Surely I’ve crossed the line this time? Surely this time He will say, “I’ve had enough!” But if I could just recall His love for me…His love that covers over a multitude of sins…His love that casts out all fear…His love that never fails.

Sigh…I feel like I am just barely scratching the surface of this and that there is still so much more in my heart that needs to be exposed, dealt with, healed, renewed. Yet, it’s a start. Perhaps it is time to start believing what He says about me and how He feels about me. I’ve heard it a thousand times, yet it needs to get past my mind and into my heart.

“Hello – my name is Jacquie and I am not a failure or a disappointment.”

“Hello – my name is Jacquie and God really likes me.”

“Hello – my name is Jacquie and God thinks I’m pretty great.”

“Hello – my name is Jacquie and I am loved and accepted by God – even as I am today.”

“Hello – my name is Jacquie and I am radiant. Beautiful. Flawless. Captivating. I have captured the heart of God.”

The Revelation of Jesus Christ

A little while ago, Mike Bickle at the International House of Prayer was teaching on the book of Revelation and he spent some time focusing on the fact that this book was meant to reveal Jesus to us, as it says in the first five words of the book, “The revelation of Jesus Christ…”.  For many, this book can be intimidating and confusing, and though it is meant to give us insight into “what must soon take place” by revealing details about the end of the age and the return of Jesus to the earth, it is primarily meant to show us who Jesus is.  The first chapter in this book actually contains 22 descriptions about Jesus (maybe even more), and so I was challenged to being meditating on and praying through them by following the simple acronym that Mike suggested – A.R.K.

A – Agreement: make declarations of agreement to Jesus about who He is and what He does. Simply declare the truth back to Jesus with affection and gratitude. For example, “Jesus, I thank You for being a faithful witness to the truth. I love this about You. I trust what You say”.
R – Revelation: pray for increased revelation of each description of Jesus. For example, “Reveal Yourself to me as the faithful witness and show me more of Your glory in this”. 
K - Keep the prophecy: by committing to respond in faith and obedience to the specific truths about His Name and by asking for God’s help to do so. We make simple declarations of our resolve to obey or to stand in faith in the Word. We also ask Jesus to empower us to do this. For example, “I commit to be a faithful witness to the truth regardless what it costs. Help me to walk this out”.

So, my desire is to go through all the descriptions of Jesus found in Revelation 1, as well as the others throughout the book, while dialoguing with Him, journaling, and blogging about the things He shows me about Himself.  It’s seemingly going very slowly and I am realizing that there is a lot of depth and richness in there that I hadn’t seen before, so I am happy to take my time discovering who He is! 

A helpful resource for your own meditation and study is an outline with the descriptions of Jesus and space to write your own brief notes using the A.R.K. acronym.  If you’re interested in reading the notes from the other sessions in this series by Mike Bickle, or even listening to the MP3′s, you can find it all here.  To read all of my blog posts on this subject, feel free to check out “The Revelation of Jesus Christ” category and I hope you will be stirred with hunger to search Him out as well and find yourself falling more in love with this God-man who is returning to claim us as His bride!

The Oil of His Name

Song of Songs 1:3
3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes (good ointments);
your name is like perfume (ointment, aromatic oils, purified oil) poured out.
No wonder the maidens (virgins) love you!

Yesterday, my husband pointed something out to me that I had never considered before.  I have read the verse above from Song of Songs countless times, so I was a little surprised that I had never made the connection that he did, that this verse could be related to the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25.  Of course, I then became intrigued and had to look at this story through this new lens!

As you may know, this parable is pertaining to the End-Times, when the Bridegroom of heaven returns to the earth.  We can probably relate to these ten virgins who were waiting for the bridegroom to arrive, but who became drowsy and fell asleep when he was “a long time in coming”.  Yet, while all ten of the virgins became weary in the waiting, still, five of them were wise and five were foolish. 

Five were prepared when he finally arrived and five were not.  The five wise virgins had extra oil for their lamps, but the five foolish virgins ran out of oil.  Five were welcomed into the wedding banquet and five were turned away at the door.  Five were known and five were not.

If you consider Song of Songs 1:3, this oil could represent the sweet perfume and ointment of Jesus’ name.  When the virgins have a revelation and knowledge of the name(s) of Jesus, then they are filled with love for Him.  In 1 Corinthians 13:12, Paul writes, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”  The foolish virgins in the story were not known when they came to the wedding (Matt. 25:12) and I believe there is a direct correlation between us being known by Jesus and our level of intimacy with Him and our knowledge of Him.  The oil we need is the revelation of His name – the knowledge of who He is and what He’s like, what He thinks and feels. 

The reason the virgins in Song of Songs loved the Bridegroom was because they were partaking of the sweet fragrance of His name.  At the end of the age, there will be those who have lived a pure and virtuous life, yet who will be found lacking in actual knowledge of the Bridegroom and consequently, also lacking in love for Him.  

Lately, the cry of my heart has been a desperate plea to know Jesus more.  I keep asking, like Paul writes in Ephesians 1:17, for the Spirit of revelation that I may know Him better.  I want the fragrant oil of His name to be poured upon my heart, that I would know Him and be known by Him.  I want an intimate knowledge of His heart, His personality, His character, His thoughts, His words, His emotions, and His actions.  In that day, when He returns, I want to be found ready, with oil in my lamp, and with passionate love burning in my heart.

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