The Fear of Pain

I’ve written several posts here about how the Lord has been speaking to me and setting me free in the area of fear.  Recently, my husband Joe and I spent some strategic, focused time in prayer to seek the Lord for greater freedom and deliverance in areas of our lives where we were feeling oppressed or attacked by the enemy, so of course, on one of these nights we talked about the issue of fear.  Joe asked me to describe to him what I was afraid of, and as I thought about it, I was able to boil the majority of my fears down to the fear of emotional pain. 

For example, if I am afraid of my daughter dying in her sleep, I am actually afraid of all the emotional pain that will come with that event – the loneliness, guilt, missing her, combined with feeling the burden of everyone else’s pain, like my husband’s, son’s, parents’, etc.  In my imagination, all I can see is how painful it will be and I’m afraid that I won’t have the fortitude to endure it and that I will completely fall apart and collapse into a deep pit of depression.  Woah.  Kind of crazy!  In all my fearful imaginings about things that will probably never happen, I completely forget about the fact that God will be with me in my pain and bring comfort, strength, and even joy in the midst of it.  He will not abandon me, leave me or forsake me and He will be faithful to bring me through every circumstance, no matter how painful.

But as we were praying, the Lord brought something else to my mind from the book Fearless by Max Lucado that I read and reviewed on this site last fall.  In it, Lucado painted a picture of the garden of Gethsemane that I had never seen before.  In Mark 14:32-36 (Amplified) it says,

³²Then they went to a place called Gethsemane, and He said to His disciples, Sit down here while I pray. ³³And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be ^[a]struck with terror and amazement and deeply troubled and depressed. ³⁴And He said to them, My soul is exceedingly sad (overwhelmed with grief) so that it almost kills Me! Remain here and keep awake and be watching. ³⁵And going a little farther, He fell on the ground and kept praying that if it were possible the [^[b]fatal] hour might pass from Him. ³⁶And He was saying, Abba, [which means] Father, everything is possible for You. Take away this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You [will]. (emphasis mine)

Lucado comments on how the disciple Mark ”paints the picture of Jesus as pale faced and trembling. ‘Horror . . . came over him’ (Mark 14:33 NEB). The word horror is ‘used of a man who is rendered helpless, disoriented, who is agitated  and anguished by the threat of some approaching event.’” (Fearless, 82) He goes on to say…

We’ve never seen Christ like this. Not in the Galilean storm, at the demoniac’s necropolis, or on the edge of the Nazarene cliff. We’ve never heard such screams from his voice or seen his eyes this wide. And never, ever, have we read a sentence  like this: “He plunged into a sinkhole of dreadful agony” (Mark 14:33 MSG). This is a weighty moment. God has become flesh, and Flesh is feeling fear full bore. (Fearless, 82)

The  cup equaled Jesus’ worst-case scenario: to be the recipient of God’s wrath. He had never felt God’s fury, didn’t deserve to. He’d never experienced isolation from his Father; the two had been one for eternity. He’d never known physical death; he was an immortal being. Yet within a few short hours, Jesus would face them all. God would unleash his sin-hating wrath on the sin-covered Son. And Jesus was afraid. Deathly afraid. (Fearless, 83)

For me, it was hard to imagine that Jesus actually felt fear and was afraid of pain, just like me!  Yet Hebrews 4:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.“  So, Jesus really truly knows and understands how I feel, because he felt it!  When I hope to avoid painful circumstances, Jesus also asked His Father if He could possibly avoid enduring the pain of the cross.  However, Jesus did not let His fear completely cripple or immobilize Him, nor did He allow His fear to cause Him to sin in any way.  Neither did He allow His fear to keep Him from completely fulfilling and obeying the will of His Father.  He did not get angry at God or accuse Him for allowing Him to endure pain, but He brought His fears to His Father in prayer and supplication, asking for the strength and help to make it through. 

There’s probably a lot more that could be said about the way Jesus prayed, how He recruited His friends to pray with Him, how He had faith in His Father’s perfect will, how He trusted His Father, how He set His gaze on the reward of His suffering, and who knows how many more great lessons from this story, but for the time being, I am simply encouraged and comforted by knowing that Jesus can sympathize with me in my weakness, because He knows what it felt like to be afraid.

Women Who Proclaim

If you haven’t visited this site recently, you should really come by just to see the beautiful new header that my friend Bethany Vanderputten of www.bethanyillustrates.com painted for me!  Here’s a close-up view of her creation and you can view the full painting by coming to www.echoinghim.com.

As we were emailing back and forth, discussing the painting, Bethany sent me a word of encouragement for writing on this blog, sharing with me the scripture Psalm 68:11 which says,

The Lord gives the command; the women who proclaim the good tidings are a great host.

In her personal study of this verse, she wrote her own paraphrase which goes like this…

The Lord speaks poetically and a great host of women shine like stars in sacred service publishing the beautiful good news.

I love this!  The Lord is speaking and there is a great host of women who are listening to hear what He is saying and are then proclaiming His message to the earth!  I am so encouraged by the many amazing women of God who are using the various platforms out there to proclaim the beautiful good news of Jesus – whether through their blog, in a 140-character tweet, a work of art, a worship song, a phone call, during coffee with a friend, in an article or book, from a pulpit, in a video on youtube – the possibilities are endless!  Daily I am challenged and inspired by this great host of women whom God has anointed and appointed to shine like stars in the darkness and declare what is on His heart towards mankind. 

So today I want to bless and encourage every woman of God who reads this and remind you that God has given His command, His Word and you are His voice in this world!

Perhaps in the comments you can share links to some of the women that inspire and challenge you through their words, their creations or their lives.

Family Fun

Yesterday, Joe and I went to take out our new double stroller for a walk with the kids to have a picnic lunch at a nearby park.  It was a cool spring afternoon, so we needed to bundle up a bit, but we were looking forward to going out for some fresh air and to let Justice run around and play.  However, it’s not unusual for things to get a little chaotic when trying to prepare for a family outing and we were both getting a little frazzled.  As we were walking down our driveway, Joe was getting frustrated with something and sort of snapped at me, so in response, both to express my frustration and to also try and lighten the mood a little, I growled loudly, “WE’RE TRYING TO HAVE SOME FAMILY FUN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”  Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a similar situation – I wasn’t really angry, I just wanted to vent in an overly exaggerated way to bring attention to the fact that we were being silly to get so uptight.  Before I did though, I did briefly look around and saw that there was nobody in sight, as I didn’t exactly want to throw a fit in the public eye.  But not a few seconds after my little vent, we heard a chuckle and saw our next door neighbor sitting on his front step talking on his phone and we knew that he had heard me.  I couldn’t help laughing and thought it was terribly funny and it kept me laughing throughout our little excursion.  Just a little reminder that there is always someone watching and to be careful what you say and do!   But we did have a good time with the kids and enjoyed our family fun time together.

 

Cottage Cheese Rolls

I recently gave you all the recipe to my favorite cookies, but Cottage Cheese Rolls are my favorite dessert of all time!  They are so amazingly delicious, that I’m pretty sure they will be served at the marriage supper of the Lamb!   Now, if like most people I share this recipe with, you think, “I don’t think I like the sound of cottage cheese in a dessert”, let me reassure you that you will never know there’s cottage cheese in it – trust me.

The recipe is SUPER simple:

1 1/2 cups cottage cheese (the wet kind – not dry)
1 cup margarine (softened)
2 cups flour
pinch of salt

1.  Blend together all ingredients. 
Form into a ball and chill dough overnight in a sealed container.  (This is so the dough isn’t so goopy and sticky & makes it easier to handle and roll out later)

2.  Divide into four parts.
Take one part at a time and roll dough into a circle on a lightly floured surface (about 10-12 inches in diameter).  Cut into 12 wedges and roll up each wedge (start with large end) to form croissant shape.

3.  Bake at 350F for approximately 20 minutes. 
Alternatively, you can freeze them and bake them at another time.  Personally, I find that I actually like them better when they’ve been frozen.  For some reason, when you make them fresh, they turn out a little differently.  You also don’t really need to thaw them out before baking for more than a few minutes.  I wouldn’t recommend placing them on the pan quite as closely as the picture depicts below (I had them this way for freezing), but they can be pretty close when baking, since they don’t get much bigger than their raw form.

4.  Frost with icing. 
Now, the icing is actually the part that makes these so good!  The rolls themselves are not sweet at all and really only transform into a dessert once the icing is added.  The icing happens to also be one of those things that I don’t have a recipe for and sort of just “wing it”.  It’s maybe roughly 2 teaspoons softened margarine (optional), about a cup of icing sugar, maybe 4 tablespoons of milk, and several dashes of cinnamon.  You can experiment with the amounts until you get something you’re happy with.

Mmmmmmm…I just ate those delicious manna from heaven pictured above.  They are best accompanied by a nice glass of cold milk!  You really should try them & then tell me what you think!

Spirit of Adoption

As I have written about before on this blog, I have struggled often with the fear of disappointing God.  In my life, I’ve experienced rejection from people in my life and have listened too long to the lies of the enemy that would try to convince me that God will also reject me.  I have lived under the shame and condemnation of the enemy and thought that my sin and my darkness was too great for Him to embrace and accept me.  But I have grown tired of believing these lies and I finally took deliberate steps to renounce these lies and the spirit of rejection in a time of prayer with my husband last night, which was really good!  While we were praying, my husband read a scripture to me from Psalm 118:21-23…

²¹ I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
       you have become my salvation. 
²² The stone the builders rejected
       has become the capstone;
²³ the LORD has done this,
       and it is marvelous in our eyes.

This scripture is actually prophesying about Jesus, who was rejected by man, only to become the Savior of all mankind.  My husband reminded me that Jesus was rejected by man (see also Isaiah 53:3), so that I wouldn’t need to fear the rejection of man.  On the cross, Jesus was also separated from (in a sense, rejected by) the Father so that I would never have to be separated or rejected by God!  This was a powerful revelation for me, because I have often been afraid that my weaknesses and my sin would keep me from receiving God’s mercy and even eternity with Him – that somehow, my issues would be so great that I would not be granted access to heaven.  What a lie from the pit of hell!!  Jesus suffered the agony of separation from His Father for the very purpose of sparing me from that pain!  I never have to be afraid of being rejected by my Father, for Jesus was rejected for me.

After I bound and commanded the spirit of rejection to leave, I then invited the Spirit of adoption to come fill me, as we are promised in Romans 8:15-17…

¹⁵For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship (adoption). And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…

As I prayed, this passage came alive to me in a new way, because I realized that with the Spirit of adoption, the Father shows no distinction between His natural children and His adopted children.  He loves me with same love that He loves His beloved Son Jesus!  He does not reserve a lesser love for me, simply because I am adopted – no!  He embraces me and accepts me and adores me and is delighted with me to the same measure as He does with Jesus.  As His adopted child, He even grants me the privilege of sharing in the inheritance of Jesus, to be an equal heir of His Kingdom!  I have received just the tiniest bit of revelation about the love that the Father has for Jesus, and it is enough to overwhelm me that He could love me the same.  Jesus Himself wants and desires this very same thing – He even intercedes to the Father that we would know how the Father loves us even as He has loved His Son (John 17:23).   I will not be made a slave again to fear, for I have received the Spirit of adoption and He testifies with my spirit that I am God’s child!

The Party!

We had a great time celebrating Justice’s 2nd Birthday on Saturday with some friends of ours and their kids, who are all fairly close to Justice in age, as well as my parents.  We didn’t plan any organized activities, but pretty much just let the kids runs around and play with whatever toys they wanted.  However, the play dough I had made seemed to be a big hit with most of the kids and was where a lot of time was spent.  Some was eaten and much was mashed into our carpet (any tips for getting it out??), but overall it was just a lot of fun.

After all the playing, we had lunch (burgers for the adults & mini pizzas for the kids), followed by cupcakes with candles for Justice to blow out.

When it was time to open presents, I found it funny how involved all the kids wanted to be – everyone wanted a good view and to help bring presents to Justice or help unwrap them.  Justice himself would just get fixated upon playing with whatever he opened that it was hard to get his attention to open another gift – ha!  We then handed out some simple goodie bags to the kids and let them all play with all the gifts until it was time to go.

Overall, it was a great success!  Thanks to everyone who came and made it a fun day for our little man.

Happy 2nd Birthday Justice!

Two years ago today, you Justice, my beautiful son came into the world and changed my life forever!  My firstborn, you made me a mother and I am forever grateful.  These two years have seen their share of struggles and challenges, but I find myself falling more in love with you every day as you continually win my heart with the joy of who you are.  Here are just a few of the things I love and adore about you:

• Your laughter – you have many different types of laughs and they all bring such joy to my heart – you have the best laughs!!  I also love how ticklish you are & how easy it is to make you laugh.
• Your sense of humor and the funny things you do and say.
• Your enthusiasm for life, for jumping, for trucks & vehicles of all kinds, for balls, for the outdoors, and for anything else you love.  Your passion and fascination are so fun to observe!
• Your intelligence – I’m so proud of you and your ability to learn and absorb information.  My heart swells every time you say a new word or learn a new concept – you’re so smart!!
• I LOVE your hugs, snuggles, kisses and “noseys”.  Your affectionate and tender heart make me feel loved.
• Your love of music, loud noise and songs.  Though sometimes I cringe at all your banging and drumming, I love it that music is a part of who you are, that you love dancing, and that you ask me to sing you songs.
• I love your boundless energy and wish you could share some of it with me! 
• I love your courage, fearlessness and adventurous spirit.
• I love that you are sooooo stinkin’ cute!!  You have a gorgeous smile, amazing blue eyes, and the most adorable little dimple in your left eyebrow.
• Your love for your sister, for your mommy & daddy, your grandparents and all your friends.  I love how you always ask about the people who are special to you and how you know all their names.
• I love that you are learning about Jesus and how to pray to Him.  It warms my heart every time you say His name and point him out in your Bible.  He loves you so much – way more than I do and I’m so grateful that He made you exactly who you are!

Happy Birthday!