First Trip to Grandma and Grandpa's

This weekend we took Justice on his first trip outside the city to go visit my parents.  They both held him for pretty much the entire time we were there and were in their glory!  My dad has mostly only seen Justice sleepy and quiet, so he was thrilled when Justice finally opened his eyes and made some good loud shrieks for him.    The funny part though was when Justice decided to christen his grandparents by first puking on my mom’s shirt and then just minutes later, peeing on my dad’s shirt – lol.  They didn’t mind in the slightest though – they’re just so delighted to be grandparents and loved getting to cuddle him. 

Mommyhood Update

Since I haven’t been able to blog about anything yet that’s happened in these first three weeks of Justice’ life, I will give a summary of some of our experiences thus far…

Physical

• I was quite sore for a couple weeks from tearing during delivery, but am feeling almost 100% recovered.
• Justice had jaundice which mostly just made him sleepy and meant we had to tickle him to keep him awake enough to feed.
• My milk didn’t come in right away, so Justice lost 10 ounces in the hospital, which prompted the staff there to get us to supplement with formula via a tiny tube attached to a syringe which we would stick into his mouth while he was breastfeeding, to make sure he was getting enough to eat.  I also had to pump in order to help my milk to come in, which I didn’t particularly enjoy and which I was thankfully able to stop a week after he was born.  Justice started gaining back his weight fairly quickly and he is now growing almost faster than I would like – he weighed in at 10 pounds 1 ounce today!
• Justice had a rather nasty diaper rash for several days, but it finally cleared up.
• Justice has a blocked tear duct which made his eye rather gunky, but it is getting much better, praise the Lord!
• I suspect that Justice may be suffering from some heart burn/acid reflux or a possible sensitivity to dairy, as he has been rather fussy and upset after feedings – after seeing the his doctor today, he recommended I try going off of dairy to see if it helps - if you think of us, you can pray for me (I love my milk!) and for healing for his tummy.
• Sorry if this is too much information, but I suspect I may have a yeast infection – not fun!!  You can also pray for healing for this and that Justice will not develop thrush as a result. 
• Update:  I forgot to mention that I also put my ribs out of place from pushing!!  This caused quite a bit of pain in the center of my chest, which was affected by almost any movement I made.  Thankfully after some chiropractic adjustments, this too is almost completely better.

Emotional/Spiritual

• I never really experienced any noticeable difference in my emotions while pregnant, but since having Justice, I seem to be much more prone to tears?  Call it horomones or as Joe says, it’s God’s gift to me and He is tenderizing my heart. 
• It’s been hard sometimes watching Justice struggle and look like he’s in pain – everything in me wants to make it better and feels so sad when I cannot.
• Having this fragile little treasure in my care has also brought up many fears – I fear losing him, I fear him having to go through anything painful, I fear making mistakes as a mom – just to mention a few – this has definitely been something that has been challenging to surrender to the Lord and it has been a whole new level in learning how to trust Him. 
• The most overwhelming emotion has definitely been joy – I love my son!  I love watching him, I love holding him and kissing him, I love it when he smiles or looks into my eyes, I love touching his so-soft skin, I love nursing him, I love dressing him up in cute clothes, I love taking dozens of pictures of his cuteness, I love taking naps with him, and even changing his poopy diapers isn’t so bad!  He is my delight and such a blessing!

About Justice

• We’ve had the chance to take Justice out in his fancy schmancy stroller, which he seems to absolutely love!  Once we get him bouncing and jostling in there, he is lights out!  The same goes for being in his car seat when we’re driving.  I think we’ll especially enjoy this, as there is a Starbucks within walking distance, some great trails in the bush near our house, and I can even do small grocery trips with the stroller.
• Something I find funny about Justice – he hates having his mouth wiped and always seems to try and wipe it himself with his hand. 
• He has pretty consistently pooped and/or peed in his towel after every bath!  In general, he seems to enjoy peeing and/or puking all over himself and his clothing and occassionally farting when I am changing him – thank goodness he hasn’t pooped while I’ve been changing him!
• He seems to like having his head hanging back – don’t ask me why? 
• So far he seems to really enjoy being at the house of prayer, even among the loud music and singing – probably due in part to the fact that there are an abundance of people willing and eager to hold, cradle and cuddle him during the prayer meetings!
• He’s quite a great belcher and farter – he has great volume and duration in both categories!
• Similar to the stroller, he really enjoys his bouncy chair and his swing or any time we hold him and bounce or jiggle him. 
• Update:  Justice seems to like loud music – specifically his dad playing guitar!  It will put him right to sleep and then he’ll wake up if Joe stops playing. 

And I’m sure there are more things that I’m forgetting, but I think that’s a pretty good snapshot of our lives lately.  And now it’s time to see if I can get a quick nap in yet this afternoon! 

Worth It All

The last two and a half weeks have definitely been a big adjustment as I have suddenly been thrown headlong into the role of being a mother and as we have grown from a couple to a family.  My world suddenly became all about this tiny being who is completely dependent upon me for his survival and my days are consumed with meeting his needs.  I am still adapting to this new schedule which is busy and often unpredictable and which has moved blogging to the end of my list of priorities these days.  However, I still really want to share about my experiences and adventures as a new mom, even if only as an outlet and record for myself – so here goes!

It’s 2:44 am and I am typing with one hand as I nurse my sleepy son with the IHOP prayer room webstream playing in the background (thank God for the prayer room!!).  Our Good Friday was a lovely day as I enjoyed having my husband at home with us and it was one of those days where we had several really great conversations, one of which was about the challenges and rewards that I have experienced thus far as a mom.  If motherhood has revealed anything about my heart so far, it would be that I am a very fearful and weak person who is just as dependent upon the Lord for my daily survival as Justice is upon me.  With the challenges I have encountered, one could say it’s all worth it when you get to enjoy the really good times when your baby is satisfied and happy and snuggled in your arms, and yet, if that is the reward for our sacrifices, then we’ve somehow fallen short of a higher vision in the heart of God.  Ultimately, everything we face in this life is designed by God to produce love in our hearts for Him and to form us into the pure and spotless bride He is coming back for.  Therefore, as I shared with Joe some of the things I’ve been struggling with, he challenged me to enquire of the Lord what He is wanting to produce in my heart through them – that is what will make it worth it all, for that is what holds eternal value that far surpasses this lifetime.

Therefore, as I share about some of my experiences, I am hoping to discover the true rewards in store for me as a result of His work upon my heart.  Choosing this perspective also saves me from ever having a complaining spirit and keeps me in the place of gratitude.  Through both the south winds of blessing and north winds of trial, He is forming me and creating a beautiful garden in my heart that will produce a pleasing fragrance for Him.

It’s A Boy! (The Birth Story)

My time has been rather occupied as of late, so this blog is well overdue, but I am finally writing to let you all know that on March 4th at 6:11 a.m. our firstborn child, a son – Justice David – was born, coming in at 7 pounds 14 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long!  But let me tell you the whole story…

Even though his due date was March 14th, there had been many signs for weeks that he would be coming early, so we were a little on the edge of our seats with anticipation, expecting him to come at any moment!  A week prior to him being born, we thought I was in labor, but after about 10 hours of inconsistent back labor, it all came to a halt.    While we were disappointed that he would not arrive that day, the following week proved to be a blessing from the Lord as He gave us those few extra days to prepare our hearts and our home for his arrival.

Then, on Tuesday, March 4th, I woke up around 1:00 a.m. with some fairly strong contractions.  At this point they were coming about 5 to 9 minutes apart and I determined that they were probably the real thing this time, since they stayed consistent regardless of whether I was laying down or walking around.  So at 2:00 a.m. I woke up Joe and told him I thought I was in labor.  He was a little skeptical because of our false alarm the week before, but he took my word for it.    Soon after, I called our friend Kristi, who is a labor and delivery nurse and whom we had asked to help us as a support person, and asked her to come over.  I was able to take a shower while Joe made sure our bags were packed and ready to go and Kristi arrived around 3:30 a.m.  By this time, the contractions were more around 4 to 5 minutes apart and Joe and Kristi were helping me cope with the pain. 

Around 4:00 a.m. Joe was wanting to get a couple little things done before we left – one being getting a picture of me reading the book “Justice Loves Babies” (where we got the name for our son from) in the nursery.  Kristi found this quite amusing, as I tried to comply with my husband’s wish and try to look normal for the picture while in fairly intense labor!  The second thing that was important to Joe was to get the letters he had cut out and painted to spell Justice’ name hung on the wall above his crib, which he needed my opinion on for where I wanted them hung.    By this time, I was good and ready to head over to the hospital, as the contractions were now 2 to 3 minutes apart.  So Joe quickly jumped in the shower and got ready and we were on the road by 4:30 a.m.  As we drove, there were way to many red lights for my liking, but we made good time and thankfully, since we had gone in to the hospital the week before when it was the false alarm, the admitting and triage process went much faster!  (Just another blessing that the Lord knew we would need)

In triage, we discovered that I was 6 cm dilated and that we would be going to the Labor & Delivery ward.  Now, we had been hoping to go to the LDRP (Labor, Delivery, Recovery & Post Partum) ward, since the rooms were considerably bigger and nicer and you could stay in the same room for your entire stay at the hospital, whereas in the L & D ward, you would be sent to a different room to recover after your delivery and which you would then have to share with someone else.  So, while we were a little disappointed by this, we had previously determined that we would not complain or have a bad attitude.  So, things were continuing to progress and I was sitting on a birthing ball when at 5:15 a.m. my water broke.  At this point, the pain was pretty overwhelming for me and I was seriously considering asking for some pain relief of some kind.  In my mind, I thought I’d have to cope with this intensity of contractions for hours yet and I didn’t know if I was capable of that.  What I didn’t realize, was that during this time, my nurse was wheeling and dealing to get me moved to the LDRP ward!  So, before I had the chance to ask for anything, I was being put in a wheelchair and getting transferred to another room.

When we arrived in our new room, my nurse checked to see where I was at and I was now 9 cm dilated!  I was already bearing down and I realized that soon they were going to let me push!  I was pretty shocked at how quickly everything was happening and it also became apparent that there would be no time for drugs.    Around 5:50 a.m. they instructed me to start pushing and they paged the doctor to come.  But Justice was coming so quickly that they had to coach me to only do small pushes as they tried to stall things long enough for the doctor to arrive.  When she did arrive, she barely had time to get on her gloves and give me the go-ahead to push and Justice was born, after about 20 minutes of pushing!

It all happened so fast that it felt pretty surreal as we tried to comprehend that Justice was actually here!  It was the most incredible and amazing experience and we felt the blessing and favor of the Lord throughout the entire labor and delivery.  God’s timing was truly perfect and we were instantly in love with our new son as we held him in our arms.  Joe read Psalm 139 to him and then prayed over him as we welcomed him into the world.  To us, he is perfect and the most beautiful baby ever.  After just over a week of being parents, we love him even more and he delights our hearts in countless ways.  More to come on the adventures of being a mom…