Fragile – Don't Drop!

Often I feel that my love for Jesus is like a delicate wine glass that requires a label plastered across it’s face – FRAGILE!! Handle with care!! It is so susceptible to breaking, seemingly any rough handling could cause it to fall to pieces. One moment, I feel as though my passion for Jesus is soaring upon the heights and the next it feels as though my love for Him has been shattered. Perhaps an even better analogy would be that my heart feels like it’s made of ice – cold and brittle – instead of flesh which is warm and alive. Dropping an ice sculpture is irreparable.

There are many moments where I don’t feel the desire to spend time with Him, I don’t want to read my Bible or pray or do anything spiritual – and when I feel that way, I question myself, “Do I truly love Him? What if I don’t??” And the enemy comes in his favorite role as the accuser of the brethren to answer my despairing questions, “Yes, it’s true. You don’t really love Him and He doesn’t really love you either.” I feel the weeds of condemnation and shame coming to choke me and my heart feels like stone within my chest.

But then, all of a sudden, Jesus Himself comes to confront the lies of the enemy. Like He did with Peter, Jesus comes to challenge my self-anaylsis. Peter had denied that he even knew Jesus three times and had abandoned his calling to ministry to go back to fishing. Yet he encountered the resurrected Jesus who asked him this question, “Peter, do you love me?” If Peter felt anything like I do, the cry inside was, “I don’t know if I love you – the actions of my life sure seem to say that I don’t!” Yet, when I look into the eyes of Jesus and I see His undying love for me, when I see the jealous flame of passion in His eyes, when I see the compassion and understanding, I am undone & instead I respond, “Yes, Jesus you know that I love you!” How could I not??

And yet, I still know that my love is fragile and my heart cries, “Lord, handle my heart with care. Hold it in your tender hands. Keep my love for you safe from the accuser and from the weeds that would seek to choke it out.”

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.” (Isaiah 42:3)

In Isaiah it fortells of Jesus and that He will be compassionate and gentle with us in our weakness and fragile condition. He doesn’t condemn us when we are bruised and smoldering, He does not point His finger at us in judgment and disgust. Instead He says, “I will strengthen your weak frame and I will again set your heart ablaze where it has been extinguished.” He says…

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

Yes, do it in me God!